Merariq in Lombok commonly, a couple does elope as the last solution to get marriage, if a couple who wants to get marriage but does not get permission from their family, they will go far away and stay in a hidden place. In this condition, the girl’s family has an authority to send the man to the jail. and then police can arrest the man as a kidnaper. In contrast elope become legal in Lombok island west nusa tenggara. The indigenous tribe in lombok called sasak has an unusual tradition to marriage.
In Lombok Island has different tradition,marriage by kidnapping the girl is named Merarik In literal sense, merariq means marry by running from house. Based on hereditary story of Sasak, there was a couple left their house because they did not get permission from their family.to merrage The reason was, there was a conflict between the man family and the girl family, so they could not achieve each others. And then the man brought the girl into his family house.The girl lived in the man family house for few days. As a result, accepted it or not, their family gave blessing for them. If they let it happened by not giving the permission, it could be a disgrace for both families Merariq is also the way to decrease the price of the girl instead of by proposing her to her family.
Merariq become popular, strengthen by the society paradigma that the man becomes stronger and valiant if he kidnap the girl rather than just propose to marry the girl to her family. But Merariq is not as simple as it looks. In fact it needs several step and requirement. And also it takes long time, even until two months. The time needed is depends on the problem and the condition of the couple. Here is the briefly explanation about this unique process of wedding in Lombok Island
Merariq begin when the man and the girl make a secret meeting in a certain place.Usually they have made plan to marry a few days or a few months earlier.The girl leaves her house without telling her family that she will go with the man to marry in Lombok called kawin berari (Man steal the girl to merry), The man and his family or his friends wait the girl in the certain place. The accompanying is needed to ensure the girl safety then the man will bring her to the save place, for example to his relative or to thier friend house which man consider place is safe for the girl stay.
A day after two people from the man’s family come to the girl’s house as a delegations. In sasak this ritual is called nyelabar. Firstly they have to meet the chieftain or kepala dusun after that, together with the kepala dusun, they will tell the girl’s family. Man’s family have to tell the girl’s family as soon as possible, three days are maximum. Because if the man’s family does not tell the girl’s pass tree days, the man’s family will get fine, it is called telat nyelabar
Ijab Kabul is ceremony after both of condidate spouse agree about payment called mas kawin,from man parent pay to girl parent.much payment depand on the agreement from girl parent, then do ceremony ijad kabul, held in the mosque, head of relegion called penghulu witness the ceremony. man should be follow the parent in low says (e.i. I marry you to my doughter with the dowry of a set of prayer tools in cash & I accept marriage with dowry a set of tools of prayer in cash pay)
Wedding ceremony takes a short time.Commonly, it is held in the man’s house or in the nearest mosque. Men from the Bridge community and some representatives from the girl’s family attend this process. The process is same like Islamic wedding ceremony.
The climax of this process called nyongkolan, this tradition is usually held in the afternoon after wedding party or wedding ceremony in the morning done,Nyongkolan is a wedding parade that have function to announce the new couple to the common people around their community & others. Nyongkolan is followed by the man’s family and their relative, their community where man leave. two brides wearing traditional clothes and traditional music will accompany their parade on the street.Hundreds of people can be involved in parade. If a couple is rich and famous family, the parade can be so long. There are kinds groups of traditional music accompany it, such as a traditional music use for parade nyongkolan called Gendang Belek, Kecimol & Tawak tawak
The last procession called bejango It is a special time for a couple and the man’s family to visit the girl family. It is become the closing of the long ritual of merariq. This kind of meeting usually consists of discussion and light conversation among those families, reciprocate advice and suggestions. Bejango has a function to strengthen the relation among the two families. Because merariq is not only build the relation between wife and husband, but also build relation between the girl’s and the man’s family and between one village with another village either.